Drawn and Quartered
I feel like I’m being pulled in a thousand fucking directions at once. Like, every day there’s someone or something else that demands all of me RIGHT THIS GODDAMN SECOND (goddamn giant monkey hands) and no one ever fucking stops and says, “Hey dude. What do YOU need?”. And it ain’t like I need a lot, y’know? I don’t need the adoration of the masses or...
The World of Doradus
Doradus is a world that lies on the edge of Known Space, somewhere in the Sirius Minor system. It orbits twin Type G-II stars, and as such is a hot, arid world full of danger and adventure. Doradus is roughly the same size as Jupiter in the Terran system. It was long thought to be uninhabited, but recent events have changed that perception greatly. This hot, dry world is mostly desert and...
I can't remember who said it, but...
I did not fall in love. I rose in it.
I may have to hit a motherfucker.
Fuckin’ work, huh?
Ace's Reviews presents: Zardoz
A bit of history for those not in the know: Zardoz is a 1974 sci-fi film directed by John Boorman (Excalibur, Deliverance) and starring Sean Connery (no. No, I refuse to put references here. If you don’t know who Sean Connery is, get off my planet.). This film gets a lot of flak, primarily because it is weird as hell. And that’s a shame, because...
Legs are stupid.
I was woken up by another charley horse this morning, in my right calf. It led me to ask the following question: Why can’t we have sweet robot legs, like Darth Maul in the new Clone Wars cartoon? That’d be cool. Yeah. Sweet robolegs.
Nothing really noteworthy here—just a smackdash list of movies I want to review. -Masters of the Universe -All the Schawzenegger Real Life Documentaries -The Stallonian Campaign -Jurassic Parks -Higlanders and whatnot -Barbagoddamnedrella Additional suggestions are welcome!
The Despair of Morning
Wake. Groggily fumble, heart pounding—off. Alarms are meant to scare us into wakefulness. Up and down through the night—exhausted now, I sit in the shower before I stand. This is a mistake. I nearly nod off. I am leaving for work soon. My day will improve because I will make it so—but Hamlet said it best: “To sleep, perchance to dream.”
Kneel before Ace!
Aw, shit y’all! Ah gots me a tumblr! To celebrate, I’m bringing back an old favorite: ACE’S REVIEWS!! Ah, but what to review for this inaugural voyage? Something… something awful. Something just absolutely wretched. Hmm… I could do—no. No, that’s not enough. Maybe—no, that’s too much! Well, there’s always—no. No! It’s too...